threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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