i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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