Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Randomize
