party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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