Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Randomize
