this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Randomize
