so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Bring me that man meat
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Randomize
