I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Randomize
