Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Randomize
