found the other keg... it's in the tree
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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