I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
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