She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
