In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
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