i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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