I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize
