Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Randomize
