just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
