Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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