People in love make me want to vomit
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
