i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
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