alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize
