Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
