I just saw a hot homeless man
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
