I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Jerry, you need to find god
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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