Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
organizing the empties. That sober.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Randomize
