i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I lost the right to judge tonight
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
