I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
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