That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
