YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
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