Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
We are two peas in an std pod
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
