y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
