It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Randomize
