hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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