THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
