he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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