I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize