yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
