Don't make out with my wife yet
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
