road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
