you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
