It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
