Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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