once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
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