Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Randomize
