Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Randomize
