I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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