I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
