I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Randomize
