Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize
