just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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