How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
