why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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